Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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