Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
