Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
