i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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