In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
