I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
