my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
