just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
