She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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