this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize