I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
