thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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