Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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