All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
