All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize