I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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