You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
