dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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