in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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