You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
