do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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