i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
