Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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