for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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