operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Damn victory sex feels great
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
