I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
