My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
home. puking in laundry basket.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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