Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
