I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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