I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
