it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
