where am i from again
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize