i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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