Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
