You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What a dumb baby whore.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
