I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize