its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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