so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
