Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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