And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
