Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
