you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
