He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my phone needs a breathalizer
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize