Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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