i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
