PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
