I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize
