This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
