the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
