Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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