Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i believe in u and ur pee
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
