there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
