the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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