Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
