It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
