she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
