He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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