Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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