maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
