I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
