You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
