i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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