Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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