Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
