If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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