Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
