this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
