it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
