how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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