she was so not down for the gang bang
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
