eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
