I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
