just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We are two peas in an std pod
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
