When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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