i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize