Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
