i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
