Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize