How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
